Finally did something for DVPT today! Stop motion is so cool :]

Anyway, in any case my mum reads this, I'll be very honest about stuff. It's not that I don't want to talk face to face, but every time I tried, it doesn't seem like anyone would really listen. My words would be interpreted wrongly, and I'd be interrupted so often, I can't be bothered to say anymore. That's what happened with Grandma. Even with an apology and all the things I've done in the past, one sentence interpreted wrongly is enough to condemn me.

Why? Seriously, why? Can I not be judged by that one small mistake?

I don't know why the letter addressed to me is not left alone to be opened by me. That aside, thank you for the concern (: 至少我当成是关心。因为很多时候对我说话时都是用责骂的口气，要不就是指责的口气。我对肢体语言又比较敏感，你不觉得是带刺的话，我听了倒觉得很不舒服。指责完可能两天后就忘记，可是那些指责的话和语气我要忘记也望不了，想到就超难过。不知到为什么你就可以这么不在乎自己说的话会不会伤到别人？用解释的我会明白，都已经多大了，不是小孩子。有事可以谈可以讲，在指责下去我只会越来越不想听。真的。

还有，我已经知道自己要的是什么，所以我在尽力了。是，我还是有偷懒，还很迟睡，可是我在认真了好吗。真的很忙，要做工也是想买乐器或是音响之类的电器。真的以为我会把钱都拿去买衣服啊？我看起来真的那么烂吗。至少也相信我多一点，看得起我多一些？都不知道是不是真的了解我。

累累累。已经不想在解释和维护自己的所作所为。如果还是不相信，我也不知到要怎么证明了。无所谓吧。

Fleepy, I'll go to sleep now. Planned to go swimming tomorrow. Need to train my arm muscles so I can hold the flute better. :O

Good night!!

Just done with showering, all my stuff are all over the room, and my table's in a huge mess. It'd bother me somewhat if I'm not quite tired/stressed now.

I need to sleep.

So many things not done, ohmygod. I want to strangle myself. I didn't leave everything till the last minute this time, I swear. Working on music is always going to be this tiring, isn't it? The stupid ache is not helping, neither is the panadol I ate. Could time please just stop for 8 hours, so I can sleep, and still have time to do everything that needs to be done? Argh me!! D: For still not working hard enough to improve and catch up, when I don't have the talent that some others have. Bloody...

Ah screw it, I'm rambling my brains out. Inspiration will be very much appreciated if it appears right now.

什么叫那种态度？我态度会差，也只是在以牙还牙，也不想想自己是用什么口气指责别人。物极必反。一直凶，一直大声，每个人就会屈服听话吗？一开始会是害怕，后来还会是忍耐。当忍耐到达一个极限，沉睡在久的死火山也会爆发好不好？话从口出容易得很，要忘记所说的好像也轻而易举，但那些不是很重要的‘气话’所造成的伤哪有那么容易可以忘得一干二净？也有够多次了，伤都伤得结疤了，不知到还可以再忍多久？

好累，好多事要做，好多难缠的人要应付，都不知到有谁可以体谅一下下，至少了解我不是每一天都那么好过的。我都尽力在笑，为什么不能得到同样的回应，为什么只有我的态度才算差？

为什么作业总是一大堆一起来，重死人的压力，都不能呼吸了，慢慢来不行吗？真是的。。